Hope and Faith

This is sunset off of Sullivans Island, SC.

While I was on my mini vacation I came up on a bridge with this breathtaking sunset. As I looked there were lights and sirens everywhere. Coast gaurd was coming up in the water. This area is a very shallow area at low tide, but high tide was coming in and making the marsh area look beautiful. I realized as I got closer that someone had thrown themselves over the side of the bridge. As far as places to go they could not have picked a better one; but, as I always am, when a useless death happens I become angered. Through my past experience in oncology I have a difficult time comprehending the selfishness I see in suicide. I just feel like there is hope and faith everywhere I turn.I do believe there is depression but life is courage. I don't think living is easy but putting one foot in front of the other is.So please have faith.
A friend from high school was in a car accident this week and remains in the ICU. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I hope everyone has a great week.

David Nail
Red Light
So this is how it ends
This is where it all goes down
This is what "I don't love you" feels like

It ain't the middle of the night
And it ain't even raining outside
It ain't exactly what I had in mind
For goodbye

At a red light in the sunshine
On a Sunday
Nothin' to say
Don't even try

Some are comin' home
Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down
On a Sunday
In the sunshine
At a red light

I thought she was gonna say
Somethin' about that couple kissin'
Crossin' the street
Or somethin' about this beautiful day

But she just looked me in the eye
Said it's over
Didn't try to lie
Or pick a fight
I might have seen it comin' thata way

But at a red light in the sunshine
On a Sunday
Nothin' to say
Don't even try

Some are comin' home
Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down
On a Sunday
In the sunshine
At a red light

There's a momma calmin' down a little baby
In the backseat in front of me
There's an old man dressed in his Sunday best
Just waitin' on green
But I can't see, gettin' past

This red light
In the sunshine
On a Sunday
Nothin' to say
Don't even try

Some are comin' home
Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down
On a Sunday in the sunshine
(at a red light)

At a red light in the sunshine
On a Sunday
Nothin' to say
Don't even try

Some are comin' home
Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down
On a Sunday
In the sunshine
At a red light (x4)

This song makes me sad but I have played it so many times over. It just shows that everyone is caught up in their own problems. Their own life. That sometimes when you're standing there falling apart. No one notices, because they are too.

Good Enough

Song Monday
I can't say I love every song by The Benjy Davis Project but this is how I want to feel. That this life is a whole lot better than good enough.

THE Benjy Davis Project- Good Enough
It’s been a long day for us both
I’m on the way to pick her up from work
And bring her home
She walks up from behind my car
I unlock the door
She smiles at me, kisses me on the nose
And we drive away
Honey all I have to say is it’s
A damn good feeling
Here behind the wheel in the sunlight and all I can feel
Is the hand of the woman, the hand of the woman I love
And we just sing out loud
Nobody cares
Sunglasses and the wind in her hair
All that I can think is this is a whole lot better than good enough

Pull into the drive, get out of the car,
Hear the sound of the dogs bark from inside,
She gets all excited says mamma’s home
We let them out, let ‘em back in
Watch TV ‘til the daylight ends
And then we head to bed to be alone
When she starts to dream, I swear I must be somewhere in between
Cause it’s a damn good feeling
Staring at the ceiling in the moonlight and all I could feel
Is the body of the woman, the body of the woman I love
She looks so pretty, keep it right there,
White nightgown, clip in her hair
All that I can think is this is a whole lot better than good enough

And I hope she understands that I’m not changing any plans
Because there’s something in those hands
That holds the real me, seems to heal this broken man

And it’s a damn good feeling
Staring at the ceiling in the moonlight and all I could feel
Is the body of the woman, the body of the woman I love
And she looks so pretty, keep it right there,
White nightgown, clip in her hair

All that I can think is this is a whole lot better than good enough

Hurt

I finished my first 1/2 marathon yesterday. If you have never run a race the massive amounts of people are unbelievable. This race in Louisville boasted 15,000. I felt like I was a part of a stampede. I looked around while racing in awe. So many people there for the same goal. The excitement is palpable. I love love love the adrenaline during the race. If you've never done a race/marathon I can not reccommend it enough. The pride when you finish is worth every drop of sweat and every bengay soaked ache. Just Do it.

As for my life I feel that it has been go- go- go. I just am trying to catch my breath. I want to slow down and smell the roses. I miss my family. I miss my bubba. I am trying to enjoy every last drop of my life and include everyone I want. So hope hope hope. I love you if I don't say it enough.

Joellen I am going to try to make it on the 15th.


Listen to John Gorka Writing in the Margins

Love the song

Happiness in strange places

So been a little while since I posted last.
I have been very busy with school, sicknes, and a crazy work schedule.
This weekend my family and I are finally getting together for Easter.
Corey is so much better. I will get to spend the whole weekend with him.
He called me this morning after his PT exam. He passed even with his packed wound.
He is a beast.I am so excited for him to be making new strides in his life.
I currently am just running ideas of life. My house is not moving. I would like to sell but am not in a situation where I have to. I am grateful for that. Some great medics/firefighters got layed off from their jobs this week. I just hate sadness. The ER was reeking with it this week. The medics that are still running are missing their friends. So they are closing a station and runniing shortstaffed. Does everyone think this is the appropriate way to work?
I think the cutting back is the way of life right now.
I miss my family.
My first 1/2 marathon is next weekend in Louisville. I am so excited. I can't wait! Nervous too. 13.1 miles is not a quick little 5mi run. Shall see.
I am learning so much from a photographer friend of mine. He is very patient and I am grateful for learning that I actually enjoy.

So I am happy. I am talking to someone new. I don't know if we'll become anything to each other but I like just talking to him. I wish everyone amazing Karma in the next week.

SONG
Lissie everywhere I go.
She is Indie Folk Rock
This doesn't even begin to summarize her.
I wish I could listen to her give her take on some old Patsy classics.
Her voice is raw and etched with a feeling of beauty. I rest my eyes as I listen to the words of the song. The first time you hear this song there is only the soul of her voice.
I listened to it a 2nd and 3rd time because I got so wrapped up in the feeling of it that I forgot to listen to what she was actually saying.
I think that if you didn't speak english you could understand this song.
the soul and emotion put forth in the song is endless.
So go get wrapped up by Lissie.

Everywhere I Go lyrics

And i fall on my knees
Tell me how's the way to be
Tell me how's the way to go
Tell me all that i should know

And i fall on my knees
Tell me how's the way to go
Tell me how's the way to be
To evoke some empathy

Danger will follow me now
Everywhere i go
Angels will call on me
And take me to my home
Well this tired mind
Just wants to be lead home

And i fall on my knees
Tell me how's the way to go
Tell me how's the way to see
Show me all that i could be

And i fall on my knees
Tell me how's the way to be yeah
Tell me how's the way to go
Tell me why i feel so low

Angels will follow me now
Everywhere i go
Angels will call on me
And take me to my home
Well these tired eyes
Just want to remain closed

I don't see clearly can't feel nothing no
Can't you hear me?

And i fall on my knees
And angels will call on me
Now everywhere i go
Angels will call on me
And take me to my home

And angel will fall on me
Everywhere i walk
Angels will call on me
And take me to my home

And angels will call on me
Now everywhere i go
Angels will follow me
Now lead me to my home
http://www.myspace.com/lissiemusic

Frustrations

I'm so frustrated. I just got done taking a timed test online. What I think is in important about something the professor never does. The questions were so dumb. So aggrivated. It did not go well to say the least. I just hate doing poorly on anything. Ugghhh. The week has been frustrating from a school perspective as a whole. I don't want to flunk these courses but online coursework is obviously not working for me. Will continue to try and hope for the best. I hope that everyone is having a better week than me. Off to day 1 of 3 of work. So excited. Corey I hope you're doing better. love you.
I better do well on my paper or I'm screwed.

And for all the rockers out there heres one for you.
Dragonfly- Shine- Shaman's Harvest

ER

After 4 days of work in the ER I thought I would get to stay out of the ER for a day or 2. No such luck. My brother Corey has been feeling sick for the past week. He said he was having fevers, cold chills. We all assumed that he had the flu. Yesterday he showed mom what he thought was an infected hair on his left groin. The area was red and swollen, plus severe pain. His temp was now up to 103. Mom went to take him to urgent care, but ended up in the ER instead. He was then sent to Clermont Mercy for Emergency Surgery. He had a large area of tunneling MRSA infection to his left groin; which was causing the fevers. He was miserable to say the least. His fever was continuing to rise. His fever did break overnight post Vancomycin and Zosyn. 2 Pretty kick ass abx. He now is getting back to his old self. He is concerned because he was to have his PT exam in 2 weeks for the Police Academy. He will get an ext I think. He is still sore and has pain when he walks. I didn't plan on spending this weekend with my family but here we are. It is so funny how things work. So sitting in the Hospital yet again. My family is hilarious so lots of laughs and love.
Then my grandpa showed up last night to see corey. He shut his left middle finger in the garage door. He shredded it up pretty good. He is on plavix and the bleeding could't be controlled. So he was bleeding all over the place. So he ended up checking himself into the ER. They took off the nail but decided against stitches.
So posting pictures of 2 wonderful men who are in my life.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4_4abCWw-w

Song of the Day: Jose Gonzalez

Heartbeats lyrics

One night to be confused
one night to speed up truth
we had a promise made
four hands and then away

both under influense
we had devine scent
to know what to say
mind is a razorblade

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no

one night of magic rush
the start a simple touch
one night to push and scream
and then releaf

ten days of perfect tunes
the colors red and blue
we had a promise made
we were in love

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough

and you, you knew the hands of the devil
and you, kept us awake with wolf teeths
sharing different heartbeats
in one night

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no