11 months of gratitude

Foster tomorrow you will be eleven months. It's amazing to me how fast this year has gone. Those first few months that were so difficult for all three of us. Growing out of an unsteadiness. Getting to know your big beating heart. Your smile unwinds us. You scoot yourself back into my lap. Looking up at me with a grin. Leaning back into me with no fear in the world. That I will catch you. We will always catch you Foster. As you take your first steps we hold your hand and cheer you on. Each time you smile I am grateful. Astounded that you are ours. You have made me look at the world a little differently. At your daddy and at God a lot differently. I think a part of myself believed I was broken in a way and with you in my life I think I am whole. You are the best piece of our puzzle.

relating

don't stress the could haves. if it should have it would have.

Let it go

http://www.youtube.com/v/vDeY2sA6Ic4?version=3&autohide=1&showinfo=1&autohide=1&autoplay=1&feature=share&attribution_tag=l1wzWQH1uKdmgwhcq4Qg2w


After talks with a good friend I was able to think through so many things. The conversation was about her goals and what she wants from her life. I found it exciting and daunting the decisions she's making. I tried to point out the things she would gain and the things she would give up. That is why this song is so appropriate. It is difficult to know what you have until it's gone. We are so good at taking the things in our life for granted and not having a true appreciation for those around us until it's too late. The conversation put into the glaring forefront my own decisions. Hindsight is always 20/20. It shines out the true answers and our mistakes. Living and growing from those mistakes gives us empathy, humility.

This past year has shown me that my heart will never beat with the growth in my professional life but the growth of my family. I have been more fulfilled over the past year than I have ever been doing anything in my life. The growth and changes I see in Foster give me a sense of meaning that nothing else ever has. I feel immensely responsible and hope I can continue to cherish his changes. I continue to pray and hope that yes I am ENOUGH. Each of us struggles with continued feelings of inadequacy. Our lives are made up of striving to squash these feelings. But you know what I am enough. A wife, a mother, a nurse= all heart. An element striving to find grace.

marry me

so lucky to have someone that takes care of me. would marry him over and over again.
best choice. i love him

http://www.youtube.com/v/zRCsZ5a3aCM?list=TLK9lPwX46pJKeInsQCbBuYI0uvBbs-Jlf&version=3&autohide=1&autoplay=1&attribution_tag=WfLfVQ1sPlqOkWJUTerMLA&showinfo=1&feature=share