I fell for Tegan and Sara a few years back when I heard where does the good go. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive. I love that line. They're twin sisters who harmonize to great effect. If you get a chance listen to the acoustic version of their stuff. Great!
Shout out to Dad- happy birthday! I love you Daddy. Carmel Cake here we come. You better enjoy you facial/massage.
I don't know if you noticed anything different It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long I don't know if you even noticed at all That I'm long gone baby, I'm long gone
And the things that keep us apart keep me alive and The things that keep me alive keep me alone
This is the thing
I don't know if you notice anything missing Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes all over the floor I don't know if you'll even notice at all Coz I was real quiet when I closed the door
And the things that keep us apart keep me alive and The things that keep me alive keep me alone
This is the thing
I don't know if you notice anything different I don't know if you even notice at all I don't know if you notice anything missing
This Is The Thing This Is The Thing This Is The Thing This Is The Thing
I heard this song on a movie I was watching recently. I couldn't sit through the movie. I've been like a five year old with ADHD lately. I had got up and was cleaning (because I find it relaxing)when this song came on. I came back to the movie and replayed the scene to listen. I just like it. The premise is sad but I like the simplistic sound. Don't read into this one. I just like the song.
I'm getting excited. Dad and family on saturday. Going out with Mandy and Misty next Friday. Going to see Rach and Lee next month. A lot of good. It's warm and its beautiful outside. Shawn and I have some more bookings. I am excited and nervous. I am going to be in charge of the brides side of it. My new lens comes in next week. I am so thankful for those that are in my life and those that I wish were in my life more.
And since it seems to be the theme: 25 thoughts of Bliss 1. Diet Coke- It is pure goodness. I like it better than any food. I think it's a sickness. 2. Family- I love my family. I want a big family with kids everywhere.A house that is alive with love. 3. I once saw a couple who were married for 60 years. He helped her up and waited beside her- he held out his hand without looking and she reached for it because she knew it would be there. I want that. 4. Laughing so hard I start to cry. 5. Music. I wake up and turn on music. 6. Capturing the moment. 7. Living in the moment. Being happy there. 8. Running. I am addicted. 9. Pancakes. 10. Family Dinners 11. Goodness. Sometimes people do things for all the right reasons. 12. A first kiss. 13. This is weird. Shaving my legs. I love putting lotion on and how smooth they are. 14. Getting a real letter or card in the mail. Email doesn't count. 15. fresh cut flowers. 16. Boating. 17. disney movies. I love them. I think they are classic and when I have kids I will use them as an excuse to have every one ever made. 18. Sheets on the line. 19. Gma Long's coffee- no one else makes it like she does. 20. Old People. I love old people who have it together and like to talk. They're my favorite. They loose their filter and spew their stories. 21. The way I don't have to say anything and my best friends know what I'm thinking. 22. Friends reruns 23. Old houses. I love the way that no old house is exactly the same. 24. Batter- cookie, cake, doesn't matter. I like batter right under diet coke.Then coffee. 25. Dancing, even though I'm terrible.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I sometimes wonder at signs. My parents are big believers in signs; as am I. I went to Wsu because of a sign. I chose my job because of a sign. I just wonder if I reading them correctly. I ache. I wonder. I just think at the end of the day what do I want? Am I happy? Am I following the right path? The right dreams. I know what I want. I've always known what I want. I know what I am and what I'm not. I need to get back to that. My mom says I was born old and aged. So I'm going to hold out my hand. Remember. And wait on yet another sign.
Monday, May 24, 2010
This song, more than life, I heard while flipping through my very limited channels. It made me stop and listen. I didn't watch the show just heard the song. Then I had to go and find the darn thing. So here it is Whitley. A completely feel good song. Then posting a classic favorite of mine. I remember the first time I heard it. Sitting in mom's convertible at the light by BestBuy in Eastgate. We were blaring it (or I was, because mom doesn't blare) and the person to my left turned and smiled because they had it blaring too. Love this song and no matter how wrong the premise is it always feels right. Today is day 4 of my 5 twelve hr shifts. Tomorrow's friday. Love it. Rough week though. I hope it gets better.
I picked up at work last night. I thought, "Why not?". Teach me. I had a rough night to say the least. I can't explain the second guessing and the wishing that goes through my mind. I wish I were smarter. I wish I had more experience. I think if only I'd done that! This continued questioning of myself is awful. I couldn't sleep last night when I got home. My mind running through a hundred different scenarios. What if I hadn't gone in? What if I hadn't been trying to be nice and picked up that patient on a whim? Would someone with more experience have made more of a difference? These are the questions I ask myself. I doubt myself. I doubt my abilities. I hate this. I am addicted though- I keep going back for more.
Through each experience ,such as this, that I have encountered has brought me a new skill. A new awareness. I know I come across as the peppy dumb blond. I am okay with that most of the time but I want to be respected. I think I am liked, but respected? I am not so sure.
Shawn and I continue to run through ideas to help develop the photography business. We have multiple sessions scheduled in the next few months. There are some great photos that should be posted soon on facebook that will give clients a further idea of the style we're going for. I think there are signs everywhere. There are doors opening everywhere. I don't what to close doors because I have little to no confidence or that I am afraid. I what to succeed. I want to believe in myself and not waste a minute.
Everyone please keep the family from last night in your thoughts. Please accept and do not condemn. Continue to grow and change. Give those around you the benefit of the doubt. I have an apology to make. Wish me luck.
Song of the Day Sheryl Crow Just remind yourself that everyone has their problems. Get out of your own head sometimes and take a look at the world from someone else's perspective.
"Out Of Our Heads"
If you feel you wanna fight me There's a chain around your mind When something is holding you tightly What is real is so hard to find
Losing babies to genocide Oh where's the meaning in that plight Can't you see that we've really bought into Every word they proclaimed and every lie, oh
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts
Someone's feeding on your anger Someone's been whispering in your ear You've seen his face before You've been played before These aren't the words you need to hear
Through the dawn of darkness blindly You have blood upon your hands All the world will treat you kindly But only the heart can understand, oh understand
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your Tears and look to your heart
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your Tears and look to your heart
Every man is his own prophet Oh every prophet just a man I say all the women stand up, say yes to themselves Teach your children best you can
Let every man bow to the best in himself We're not killing any more We're the wisest ones, everybody listen 'Cause you can't fight this feeling any more, oh anymore
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your Tears and look to your heart
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads And into our hearts Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your Tears and look to your heart
LOVE THE VIDEO too. My mom and I rocked this all the way to Lake Norris. BLISS.
So the sun is not shining. I think that I'm going to have to finally break down and get internet in my house. I thought that I would be able to sell my house but no luck thus far. So am currently pricing. I'm such a cheapbutt.
Song of the Day Freshman- Verve Pipe
Loved this one forever- it matches my mood- Sing it with me now.
When I was young and knew everything And she a punk who rarely ever took advice Now I'm guilt stricken Sobbing with my head on the floor Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice no...
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
(Chorus) For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and We'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe We'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen
My best friend took a week's Vacation to forget her His girl took a week's worth of Valium and slept Now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his Head on the floor Thinks about her now and how he never really Wept he says
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
(Chorus)
We've tried to wash our hands of all of this We never talk of our lack in relationships And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our Heads on the floor We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip We'd say
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face And I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
(Chorus)x2 For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and We'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe We'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen (SECOND TIME) we were merely freshmen we were only freshmen
Monday, May 17, 2010
Richard Shindell A Summer Wind, Cotton Dress
I was hers and you were his The night we met out on that bridge You knew then what I know now That love put down comes back some how
The comet came, the comet went And hid its face in the firmament I looked once and then turned away When I looked again it was much too late
A summer wind, a cotton dress This is how I remember you best A glance held long and a stolen kiss This is how I remember you best
The fool I was is the fool I am I've got a wife, I'm a family man But when I lay in our bed I sometimes dream I'm holding you instead
(CHORUS)
The kids are fine They're six and nine I think you'd probably like my wife But the kitchen light seems much too bright For what I find myself thinking tonight
In just find myself thinking that I need to live every moment. I need to remember whats important. This song is a man living with somewhat of a regret. I don't want to regret. Right now life is spilling over. I love it.
I have been incredibly blessed lately. I'm trying to keep in the forefront of my mind that there are so many things I am constantly greatful for. I woke up wanting a sign about a bug decision in my life. The sign was so blatantly obvious o couldn't ignore it. I feel that I am changing in my wants and needs of the time being. I want to put out into the world what I what I want to recieve back.
Oh no- here comes that sun again. And (that) means another day without you my friend. And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself. And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say. But sometimes - sometimes, you just have to walk away - walk away.
With so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one? But you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say. But sometimes - sometimes, you just have to walk away - walk away and head for the door.
We've tried the goodbye so many days. We walk in the same direction so that we could never stray. They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free, but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery. They say time will make all this go away, but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays. And once again that rising sun is droppin' on down And once again, you my friend, are nowhere to be found.
And it's so hard to do and so easy to say. But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away, walk away and head for the door. You just walk away - walk away - walk away. You just walk away, walk on, turn and head for the door
This song- I turned on my pandora to my Eddie Vedder station and this starting playing. I love the picture of truth it paints. That sometimes no matter how much I want something to work out, it doesn't. Life hurts but life is good.
This mothers day I want to let everyone know what kind of mother I want to be. I want to be a mom who's kids know they can come to her no matter what. There won't be a lecture. There will be acceptance and love. I look around and often wonder about other families. Did their mom tell them how much they were loved? I have a wonderful mom. Her beauty and her soul are amazing. I think god gave her to me so I could have at least one souls mate here on earth. My mom- well she's everything I want to be. She's the kind of mom I want to be.
Song of the day- Gary Jule Mad World This song is a remake of a song I can honestly say I didn't love but the Gary jule version is like it should have been sung. There is an other worldly essence to it that gives an ache and sadness. Listen and tell me what you think;) no photos or lyrics. I'm posting from my phone.
