I picked up at work last night. I thought, "Why not?". Teach me. I had a rough night to say the least. I can't explain the second guessing and the wishing that goes through my mind. I wish I were smarter. I wish I had more experience. I think if only I'd done that! This continued questioning of myself is awful. I couldn't sleep last night when I got home. My mind running through a hundred different scenarios. What if I hadn't gone in? What if I hadn't been trying to be nice and picked up that patient on a whim? Would someone with more experience have made more of a difference? These are the questions I ask myself. I doubt myself. I doubt my abilities. I hate this. I am addicted though- I keep going back for more.
Through each experience ,such as this, that I have encountered has brought me a new skill. A new awareness. I know I come across as the peppy dumb blond. I am okay with that most of the time but I want to be respected. I think I am liked, but respected? I am not so sure.
Shawn and I continue to run through ideas to help develop the photography business. We have multiple sessions scheduled in the next few months. There are some great photos that should be posted soon on facebook that will give clients a further idea of the style we're going for. I think there are signs everywhere. There are doors opening everywhere. I don't what to close doors because I have little to no confidence or that I am afraid. I what to succeed. I want to believe in myself and not waste a minute.
Everyone please keep the family from last night in your thoughts. Please accept and do not condemn. Continue to grow and change. Give those around you the benefit of the doubt. I have an apology to make. Wish me luck.
Song of the Day Sheryl Crow
Just remind yourself that everyone has their problems. Get out of your own head sometimes and take a look at the world from someone else's perspective.
"Out Of Our Heads"
If you feel you wanna fight me
There's a chain around your mind
When something is holding you tightly
What is real is so hard to find
Losing babies to genocide
Oh where's the meaning in that plight
Can't you see that we've really bought into
Every word they proclaimed and every lie, oh
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Someone's feeding on your anger
Someone's been whispering in your ear
You've seen his face before
You've been played before
These aren't the words you need to hear
Through the dawn of darkness blindly
You have blood upon your hands
All the world will treat you kindly
But only the heart can understand, oh understand
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart
Every man is his own prophet
Oh every prophet just a man
I say all the women stand up, say yes to themselves
Teach your children best you can
Let every man bow to the best in himself
We're not killing any more
We're the wisest ones, everybody listen
'Cause you can't fight this feeling any more, oh anymore
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart
LOVE THE VIDEO too. My mom and I rocked this all the way to Lake Norris. BLISS.
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