Bedlight For Blue Eyes - Jumper

I know the reasons I became a nurse.
I thought I knew what I was getting into.
I had no idea.
Sometimes I forget to be human.
That the task and the fact that I am so busy is not an excuse to not take time.
The facts are: families are afraid.
They want reassurance and not a hurried nurse who is split in so many directions.
Last night I cleaned up a patient probably every ten minutes.
90% by myself.
She cried as I wiped.
Her daughter held her hand.
I wanted to cry too.
My back was aching from rolling 300 pounds on my own.
I was 8 hours into my 12 hour shift and had not had a break.
My hands had started their shakes that wouldn't stop.
I had 5 other patients and my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
Her stool was pooled around her.
Her bottom raw.
Her hair gone.
Tachycardic and drenched in sweat.
She was apoligizing repeatedly.
I started talking to not cry.
I asked about daughter. About her grandchildren. About her life.
The crying stopped and she slept.
When I took her to the unit her daughter held me in a hug. And held me.
Helped me remember that making the effort is worth it.

I am so grateful for health.