9 months

Foster i almost missed your 9 months. Your personality is coming out more and more every day. You are demanding. Loving. Happy 95% of the time. The other 5% of the time we will cease to describe your level of unhappiness. You make us laugh out loud Foster. Taking your hands and throwing them out in utter frustration. Then there are the smiles and the hugs. its amazing the way you melt our hearts. Sometimes daddy and I put you between us in bed. Savoring you. smiling into your- only small once- face. You glow back at us. Reaching for daddy with your hand and letting mommy brush your hair back from your face. Walking along furniture. Getting brave and attacking Susan the dog. We have been practicing sounds but I don't know how much you are getting. Curious george is still your favorite. You are our joy. Pure and simple.

Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me / Nick of Time

Didn't know I was lost

wiser and i'm older
i hold your words next to my heart
they never leave me

needed

god- happiness happy today is waking up to my baby laughing in his crib. squealing in delight when I pick his little bouncing body out of the crib. I smile into his neck hugging him. This moment every morning I look forward to. I've missed him while i've slept. His cries of delight. the way he scrunches up his nose. my heart is overflowing. glowing. my husband holds me that much closer because we were given him. happy is watching his daddy in the baby monitor shush and pat him to sleep. rubbing his back when hes fussy. aching. i'm holding these precious moments close because it won't be long before they're gone and he won't smile with delight when I enter the room. The moment when I have to let him fly will come all too soon.