Something is lacking. I can't put my finger on it. I just don't feel complete. I don't know how to get there. I'm afraid that I am trying to look at things through rose colored glasses and it's just not the way the are. I want to help people I just don't want my career to be my life. I want to be happy. Just how to get there? Too much time thinking... I think:)

Vitamin string quartet
this band does all instrumental covers of songs. My fav is all yellow. Just turn this band on and breeze. Very good sound that is good just to turn on. Just to think.

J minus

I think that at times that things have to just flow.
I went to dinner with SMN on Friday. Watched basketball, had good drinks, and an even better talk. Spent Saturday with the Momma. She puts me at ease and reminds me that she loves me. I read the Last Song this week and cried. Great read. Sunday run. Lunch with the grandparents. Coffee. Reminded that things are okay. That life has its own rhythm. I look forward to whats to come and whos to come. Planning a trip to Saftey Habor and Charleston. Training for a triathalon.

Song of the Day
http://www.myspace.com/jminus
J Minus After Midnight

Lyrics to After Midnight :
After midnight I’ll meet you by the seaside in my mind
I could walk a million miles with you by my side
see the glow of the moon dancing through the night
words can’t describe the feelings I hold inside
and after midnight, I come to you in a dream
take my hand and run away to a place you’ve never seen
and we can watch the water such a beautiful sight
we’ll be together after midnight

Please don’t wake me up don’t take me from this place I’d rather be
I don’t know if you can go there, outside of a dream
if I could I would I’d stay there with you, never want to leave
you will always be there with me, holding as I sleep

and after midnight I’ll see you beneath the darkened skies
we can run around in the open chasing fireflies
make a wish upon the stars, forever we’ll be free
'cause I’ve become a part of you and your a part of me

if I lead you, will you follow?
stay right behind me
if I take you, leave your sorrow
stay right behind
if I lead you, will you follow?
stay right behind me
no more worries till tomorrow
no more worries....

Just good Sounds:)

To come- Jose Gonzalez
Jonah Mantraga
Steroside if you're in the mood to rock- and I hope you all know my love of Kings of Leon

James Dunn

Life is sweet.


Artist of the week. JAMES DUNN

www.jamesdunnmusic.com

Well you know pandora well. I love listening to my griffin house station. This guy is on it all the time. I must say I'm obsessed. I can't find him on itunes, but I'll put a link to his site. He has a Bruce sound but I can't say I've ever been a huge fan of Bruce- but I'm a huge fan of James Dunn. I just feel good listening to it. So take a listen....to the sweet- sweet- tunes.

Each Others Eyes

Dreamed of you last night, in a summer’s dress in the fading summer’s light
When I woke there was nothin’ but snow on the ground
And the morning light, well, it shines through my window like a fire in the night
Yellow roses in the sun remind me of you



Chorus
And I’d drive a thousand miles tonight, just to be by your side
And I’ll just pretend that I’m lookin’, and I’ll just pretend that you're lookin’
I’ll just pretend that we’re lookin’ in each others eyes



On this train I ride, cross this country to the desert where the wolves cry at night
Lay my head on a stone as I look at the stars
And I’ll be thinkin’ of you, across the miles in my car all alone
A photograph of you on my dash keeps me warm



Chorus



Dreamed of you last night, in a summer’s dress in the fading summer’s light
When I woke there was nothin’ but snow on the ground

o really

I have been off work this week, working on a paper that I have put off for a class. I forgot how much I hate writing papers. It seems like ridiculous busy work. I haven't been all that productive because it has been beautiful outside. I look out and this has left too much time for reflection. I'm usually so busy I can't see straight. I haven't missed work at all this week. Sometimes I wonder if I am even in the right field. I want it to be right. I just am done with it. I hate seeing those who don't want to help themselves. I'm itching for something new. I would like to do something with organ donation. I think it may be the oppurtunity I'm looking for. I am so unsure right now. My home is for sale. I am in limbo. SO- I am okay for now. Family is ok. That is all that matters. I am down to TN for the weekend. Had a wonderful day hangin out with one of the bests. She states that she introduced me to Griffin House-so I have to give her credit here.

Song of the Day- well BAND
Courtyard Hounds. These are the 2 sisters of the Dixie Chicks. They have a bluegrass/folk sound that I love and I can't wait to get the full CD.
www.courtyardhounds.com
ENJOY

Listen to agnesesks playlist

New Day

My brother, sister, and I pre concert fun:)

Today I have been running around. I feel like on vacations I have to be productive. I want to get so much accomplished and spend quality time with everyone in my life. I find that isn't actually possible. I am blessed with so many great people. I am happy today and feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel less anxious. I always think that my worries are so minimal and I shouldn't feel like this. I think worries are what you make of them. I keep reminding myself that everything changes and there is meaning in each struggle. Be safe today Rach.

Song Of the Day:
World Spins Madly On- The Weepies

Ok guys- I know I am addicted to all the very slow melodic music, but it all just makes me feel so good. This song just seems so appropriate right now. The world is just that- the world spins madly on. So turn this up- sit back and enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4sa2HoXpsE

-Plus heard a new band yesterday and am slightly addicted. They are called Mission Hill.
http://www.myspace.com/missionhillband

Listen to Long time Coming

Decisions

I have been contemplating some tough choices. You know when you're little and you think things will fall into place. Go to school- find a job that you love- get married- happy ever after. Things would just be that easy in your mind? It's so frustrating to find out that's not true. So my minds whirling and I'm running and itching for a beautiful change. I want to try something new and fall in love with life again. So praying.

I keep feeling like I should apologize
for being less than you expected. ( I feel this way all the time)

One of my best friends left Ohio today and I'm sad. I will miss her face;)

song of the day:
I have been listening to this song forever and was listening to a local news station when they were pro. Mo. It as the next big thing: I'm like what? Listening to it forever.
Serena Ryder- all for love

Hey all- this is why I love my brother. He can always make me laugh. Just by existing. Have a great weekend.

Sleep

Song of the Day
http://www.lala.com/#artist/Griffin_House
Griffin House- Liberty Line
Well I ran into some trouble and headed out toward Liberty Line
I heard voices going in my head, "you could be livin' more than you could be dyin'"
I remember when we fell in love; you were the one I thought I'd never meet
I taste your words on the tip of my tongue; they were soft and they were sweet
But we ran into some trouble; we knew our love was slowly dyin'
And when we said the words that ended us; I headed out toward Liberty Line
The night was some kind of quiet; I could almost here myself think
I felt my heart was like a heavy flood; I'm gonna float or I'm gonna sink
I was thinking we could settle down, start a family, and start a life
I was only two days short of asking you if you would be my wife
But we ran into some trouble, we met that enemy that we call time
Threw my guitar in the back of my car and headed out toward Liberty Line

I didn't know what would be waiting there. I didn't know what I would find

But I knew I had to make it, make it to Liberty Line

They say you can't see the forest when you're there among the trees
They say it takes a separation to find some kind of clarity
But I feel I'm gonna make it to the line where freedom waits
And then this lonely prisoner can cross the border to a better state
Now I'm on my last stretch of road, and I don't know what I'm gonna find
Maybe the sheriff will be waiting there and stop me short of Liberty Line
Off in the distance, I'm coming closer with every breath
I see a woman staring back at me
I stop the car
She comes up on my left
She said, "I didn't know if you would make it, see; I got this enemy that I call time
But I was wondering could I hitch a ride, by the way my name is Liberty Line."

I didn't know what would be waiting there. I didn't know what I would find
But I knew I had to make it, make it to Liberty Line

-I love Griffin House. He is from the southern Ohio area and from what I understand attended Miami. I just dig his sound. I think in "I remember" he sounds like Johnny Cash. There is soul in his voice and I love hearing the story he presents in each song. A story that makes me stop and listen or ache I will always come back to. This song is a keeper. Plus he plays a great break up song "the guy who says goodbye to you is out of his mind". So enjoy. Please


Okay- so I am not sleeping well. Thanks Dad. I am a dreaming fool. I wake up in a cold sweat in disturbing dreams. I see previous patients in my sleep. Sometimes they are okay; others not so much. So I am avoiding sleep. In turn I feel like I'm not being a very good person and I can't concentrate. Adderall seems just the ticket...
I think that if sleep becomes lost that it seeps into other parts of your life. I can't seem to concentrate on homework. I end of passing out trying to do it. Plus I'm anxious. I have something sitting and I can not shake it. Something just doesn't feel right. Not cool.I think I'm confused about direction. goal for the night: go to bed and sleep in a dreamless sleep. So I love you all and sorry I haven't been a good person this week.

Fam

Great weekend! The sun finally came back out to play. Cml made me laugh more than I have all month. I got to spend a day with my mom who always reminds me that all my dreams are possible if I work hard enough. Spending time with those who tell you want they really think( no matter how harsh) is needed. Today was complete chill at the grandparents. Goodness. I'm thinking on trying a small triathalon? Am I just trying to punish myself? No- I really am excited about this possibility. Hope everyone has a great week!

Song of the day-
Mozella I will
just listen- blues like from a Detroit lady- good tune

Loss then hope then loss again

I sat beside a women who had terminal cancer today. She had 2 little ones at home and more courage than she'll know. Her mother was sitting in the corner crying silently. She was trying to be her champion. Seeing the acceptance on their faces was heartbreaking. I think the position I'm in is a gift at times. Through the looking glass I can see the pain etched into faces. I try to ease it in any way I can. I try to take away the pain. This is my solace. Days like this hurt. Days like this my problems seem so insignificant.

Song OF the DaY

Lori McKenna confetti

this song is remembering that even though you aren't where you always thought you would be- life is still good.


I am thankful for my health today

grateful

I often feel like the ER makes a nurse develop a type of jaded sensibility. A continued idea of mistrust. I go onto work each day and I pray to help those to the best of my ability. Although when I go into a patients room and I see track marks I don't know what to say. My first thought is how did you get here? To this point? The frail bones. The skin that is taunt over their frame. I want to care, I do. I just get sick out it. There are so many that want to live and I feel like these patients are throwing away their one, their only opportunity. How could I reach them? So each time they come into the ER I treat their pain, as I am required to do, and watch them get their fix for the day. I want a change. I want to help someone who wants to get better.

Song of the day:
provided by cml
FM Static tonight

just listen to this song. It makes me want. Consistently addictive.... Just listen

tell those in your life how much you care about them- it may make the difference.

Renew

I think a part of everyday is a frustration. I had an upsetting evening last night and was trying to look at things in a positive light this morning. A reminder to myself that "yes- I do have worth!" I shouldn't settle for mediocre. After further analysis of my recent rs mishap I think that I was to willing to want something. In that in the romantic world I am overlooked. This was something new and I needed it to learn about myself. So the lesson is to look before I jump- sometimes things aren't what they seem.

As for the remainder of the day.... I am so blessed with great family and friends. I spent the morning having coffee with the grandparents/daddy. Dad had MRI issues which I hope canbe resolved. The afternoon with homework. Then the evening with Rachel and Sabrina. We made dinner and watched movies. I love these two great people. I love that words don't always need to be expressed for them to know what I'm feeling.

Prayer of the day is for understanding and for being thankful.

*Song of the day

The xx- intro
no link today bc I'm posting from my iPhone but u have to listen to this. It was originally on a commercial , but it is an extremely cool lyric free tune. Love it. It is song that begs for massive speakers and laying in the middle of the floor. it deserves to be not only heard but to feel. So continue rockin... PEacE

Breathe Me

I wanted to create this blog to share great music with friends and to share my life.

This past week has been frustrating from multiple standpoints. So I'm reminding myself to count my blessings and look at my glass which runs over.
My parents stopped to see me in the ER yesterday. I was on my 3rd 12 in a row and was pretty much exhausted. The continued monotony of the staple patient that comes into the ER is frustrating and tiresome. Not to mention the multiple personalities of tired healthcare workers- tons of clashing. My parents drove 20 extra minutes out of their way to see me! They brought me pizza and some for the other staff. Did I mention that I love my family? The reminder that someone cares about you is always welcome. I can not stress enough that the little things that people do make all the difference.
Then my brother called me this morning. He wanted to talk (which I found suprising that I needed to). He is such a welcome person in my life. He always brings me up and makes me look at things in another way. The phone call was needed.

As far as preparing for my marathon in April. I only got in 4 miles over the weekend, which is pitiful. I did get in a total of 24miles last week, but I am very inconsistent. I love the feeling I get in the middle of a long run outside. I feel like an addict because it always seems like the edge of euphoria. This weekends 12's wiped me out and I haven't gotten my run in today. I am going to spinning tonight, I haven't done since I lived in Mason. I can't wait. I remember how fun group classes are.

Goals for the week: Stats hw and Theory paper- if anyone has info on how Chaos theory can be related to nursing theory throw me a bone?!
- Personally: work on relationships. Connect with someone I've lost touch with.

Love and Music Baby
My song of the week is SIA. Breathe Me. (she is the lady on the left)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZIfCmaBe7Q&feature=related
Lyrics
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
I hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch

I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me


-I just love this song. I feel like it is the getting ready in the morning chill song. Every person on the planet has been there. The lyric of hold me-wrap me up. I think that I want to be taken care of and someone to lean on. I know I can take care of myself, but the want of someone else being with me is always there. Mistakes and heartache happen. It's nice to have someone who cares for you sitting beside you when it does.

~I hope everyone has a great week and that you like the song!
....please keep my mom in your thoughts~prayers-that she continues to heal.
Dad I hope the MRI goes well! KMS- well you know. CML for finals. Me- for patience.