some days

our little boy is now rolling over. having full belly laughs. He smiles at me whenever he sees me. the amount of love that I have for him is overwhelming. i honestly think he's the reason i'm here. so i could be his mom. that in the long run little else matters but him. i'm in awe of him and the man rick is with him. 

This leeds me to really questioning my own dreams. I am doing so much better with ppd and being open about it has helped so much. This openness has made me question my reasons for decisions i have made in the past. Looking at my past I realize that I made decisions because I felt it was the next step. Not because it was not really what I want to do. I am really just now examining what my actual dreams are. Not what the expectation in my own mind thinks it should be. I want to make my dreams come true. I'm trying to figure out how to get there.